


Let's Get Punched

by conceptstage



Series: Single Chapter Critical Role [65]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-13 02:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18022721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Caleb wants to learn how to fight. Naturally he goes to Beau for this. Her method of training is not exactly what he was expecting.





	Let's Get Punched

Beau sighed as she stepped in the rundown dive bar and smirked, turning to Caleb as his nose scrunched up in disgust. “Smell that?”

“I smell… many things,” he said. “Which exactly are you referring to?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a baby,” she teased as she walked farther inside. The bar wasn’t quite full but there were some people scattered between the wobbly wood tables and the scratched and stained bar. The bartender washing glasses behind the bar raised an eyebrow at him and looked him over so he hurried to catch up with Beau.

He pressed against her side and cleared his throat. “Am I in danger here?”

“Course,” she said casually. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna let you get hurt. Too much.”

“Beau!” someone called in greeting and she grinned, waving her hand as she took a seat at a little two seater table near the back wall.

“You know that guy?” Caleb asked.

“Beat him up once. He bought me a round of drinks.” She hummed as she looked around at the people in the bar. “Let’s see, who would be a good first opponent?”

“That guy that called your name?”

Beau snorted. “No. He’d kick your ass. Sometimes we get college kids in here trying to act badass, you could probably take one of the little ones. Avoid anyone named Chad or Brad or something like that because those fuckers fight until someone’s on the ground.”

“Is this really the best way to learn how to fight?”

“You can’t learn to fight until you get in a fight. What exactly do you want to do, read about fighting and call it good?”

“No, I mean, couldn’t we have gone to a gym and you could have taught me with pads on?”

“Eventually. That’s all fine and good, but you’ll never get over your fear of getting punched until you get punched, bare knuckle and for real.”

“I’m not scared of getting punched.” Beau raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “I’m a little scared of getting punched. Okay, then you punch me. I trust you to punch me.”

“That’s the kindest thing you’ve ever said to me, but that won’t work either because you trust me not to hurt you.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

She rolled her eyes. “Then trust me when I say that I know what I’m doing, alright?” She started rooting around in her pocket and handed him a dollar. “I’ll get us drinks. Pick out something decent on the jukebox, these last few songs have been shit. Pay to play it first.”

“I need another dollar for that.”

Beau huffed and rolled her eyes but handed him a second dollar. “It better be a good fucking song, you jackass.” Then she got up and walked to the bar. “Hey, Johnny!” she called, waving. The bartender paused his conversation briefly to flip her off and she sneered. “Johnny! Don’t fuck with me, man! I’ve got money this time!”

The bartender continued talking and paid her no mind. She rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder as Caleb finished up at the Jukebox. He met her eyes and gave her an awkward thumbs up as her favorite song started to play. She waved him over and he nodded, reaching down to take his change from the machine first. Before he could walk over to her, two dwarves and one half orc walked up to him. The dwarf in front said something to him and Caleb curled in on himself defensively before answering.

She frowned and pushed herself off the counter. This looked like bad news. “Caleb?” she called, starting towards him. He looked up at her just before a meaty fist impacted the side of his face and knocked him down to the floor, limp like a doll. “Caleb! You motherfucker! I’ll kill you for that!” She kicked the dwarf who’d hit Caleb square in the face when he turned to look at her. She heard a crack as his nose broke under her heel. The half orc grabbed her by her hair and she yanked away, feeling her hair tie and some strands of hair pulled out. She threw her head back at him violently and smashed her skull into his face as her hair fell around her shoulders. She reached back and grabbed him by the sides of his face. She bent at the waist and threw him over her shoulder to crash into the second dwarf. She glared at the first dwarf who was watching her with wide eyes.

“Where the fuck did you come from?” he asked, stepping back into a defensive position and holding up his fists to defend himself.

“Hell, motherfucker! And that’s where I’m gonna send you if you touch my friend again!” She kicked him across the face and then punched him twice in quick succession in the stomach. He punched towards her but she swept out of the way. She grabbed his beard and pulled him hard into her knee. She threw him backwards to the ground and left him there. She sighed and turned to Caleb, who was still laying on the ground clutching his face. “Let me see. Hey, let me see.” She pulled his fingers away from his face and saw his eye starting to swell up. “You think you’re gonna live?” she teased, pulling him to his feet. He groaned and leaned heavily against her.

“I feel dizzy.”

“You feel nauseous?” He shook his head. “Don’t lie to me. Are you gonna puke?”

“ _Nein,_ just… disoriented.”

“Good. You didn’t get knocked out. I’m honestly impressed. Here, take a seat.” She walked him up to the bar and took the cold bag of peas from Johnny with a grateful nod. “Hold this over your eye. I’ve gotta make an announcement.”

Beau cleared her throat and started to climb up on the counter.

“Hey!” Johnny called. “Get your ass down, Beau, I’m not kidding!”

“Just give me a fucking second!” She turned out to the bar to find all the eyes on her. “I have a little public service announcement. See this squishy guy right here?” Caleb gave an embarrassed wave and pressed the bag of peas over his eye. “He’s my brother! He belongs to me! Anyone who thinks they can fuck with him are gonna be eating my fists for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and getting my boot in your ass for dessert! Understand?”

Johnny threw a lemon at her and beaned her in the side of the head. “Get the fuck down!” Beau sneered at him but hopped off the counter.

Caleb looked at her curiously as she pulled the bag away from his eye to look it over. “I’m not your brother.”

She waved dismissively and replaced the bag once more. “They don’t know that. Family is the only thing these people understand.”

“Hey Beau.”

She looked up to meet his good eye. “Yeah?”

He smiled softly. “I got punched.”

She snickered. “Yeah, you did. You still scared?”

“Yeah, but I think I can take it now.”

“Good. When that eye’s healed we’ll start training at the gym.”

“Thank the gods,” he moaned. They both looked across the bar as another fight started up in the other corner. Caleb frowned. “I hate this place.”

Beau grinned and leaned against the counter. “I love this place.”


End file.
